How MOPS Saved Me

My sister-in-law Danette invited me to attend MOPS with her at the beginning of this year.  I was a little hesitant because I felt like I didn’t have enough time to see the friends I already had, so I didn’t know if I needed more friends.  Also, I was content with my life the way it was, or so I thought. 

I had heard of MOPS, or Mothers of Preschoolers, before, and I knew it was a group of women with kids younger than first grade who got together and… well… I didn’t exactly know what it was that they did.  It had never really occurred to me to try to go because in addition to taking care of my own three children, I also work from home full time.  Danette (who is not only my sister-in-law but one of my very best friends) strongly encouraged me to come to at least one meeting and see for myself if I thought it was something I would enjoy.  I went to the first meeting and was immediately hooked.

We meet every two weeks and have breakfast and coffee(!) and mingle and listen to speakers talk about things that are relevant to us as women and mothers.  The theme this year was “Be You Bravely” and so we devoted a lot of time to finding out who we really are so that we can more fully and bravely be ourselves.  

We took several personality tests, and I discovered that I am an extrovert.  I had absolutely no idea.  All this time I thought I was an introvert that needed people, and it turns out that I’m an extrovert who needs alone time.  No wonder many of my days of motherhood have felt a little lonely.  It makes sense that I’ve felt happier since I’ve had MOPS to look forward to every two weeks.  

Meeting with other moms who are also interesting people and discovering—and rediscovering—my strengths has been so empowering.  We took the Gallup StrengthsFinder Assessment, and Relator was my number one talent.  I always knew that relationships with other people were very important to me, but I didn’t realize that relating to other people was my number one strength.  Since finding that out, I have made it a point to spend more time with other grown ups, and to connect with my friends from college who live far away more often over the phone, text, and email.  

Some women from my MOPS group started a book club, and I joined. I actually took the time to read the books. We had some mom's night outs where we would get together in the evenings and talk, and I went.  I began to make new friends, and to find the time to see them.  As a result of being involved in this amazing community, I have started to feel like my “old self” again, like the person I was in college, with original thoughts, ideas and things to contribute.  I didn’t know I had started to feel like “just a mom” until I didn’t anymore.  Even starting this blog came as a result of knowing how important it is for me to connect with others, and starting to feel like I did actually have things to say.  Interesting things.  Things besides “Please pick up your toys,” or “We don’t put LEGOS up our nose,” or “You can feel free to have ice cream with us if you eat at least three more bites of your green beans.”  

Community is so important.  I genuinely believe we are not meant to live in isolation.  Extroverts or introverts, I think it is important for us to have a community of people where we can be seen and see others, where we can connect.  Sometimes we don't even know it's missing til we find it, like what happened to me. I have been telling every woman with young children I know that, if possible, they should join a MOPS group.  For moms who work outside the home during the week, there are even some groups that meet in the evenings.  But if MOPS isn’t for you, I would encourage you to seek out some sort of community.  A film club, chess club, book club, any kind of club.  Or a small group at your church.  Or an intramural sports team.  Or maybe just try to get a group of friends together every couple of months to debrief on this whole life thing that we’re all in the middle of.

Since taking the StrengthsFinder Assessment was so eye opening for me, I would love to know of any insights you had about yourself when you took it. What are your top five talents?  Did you agree with the results?  Mine are Relator, Developer, Intellection, Input, and Empathy, and they seem to fit me well. If you haven't taken it, it's a fun way to spend half an hour (and ten dollars.)  :)