Small Moments

Photo by Suzanne Tadros Photography

I'm sitting on the couch reading a book while my crazy kids are playing “monkeys” in the other room.  There's a lot of "Ooh ooh! Ah ah!" going on, and the clanging of toy pots and pans.  I am tired.  I'm twelve weeks pregnant and have been struggling with morning sickness for the last six weeks.  For me, “morning sickness” is a misnomer as I start feeling nauseated in the morning and get increasingly worse all day until I finally just have to go to bed early and try again the next day. 

But I love the sound of my kiddos laughing and playing, and I’m thankful that I can get lost in a good book and forget about the dizzying nausea for a while.  I love being pregnant, sick or not, and I love thinking about and praying for this new little life inside of me. 

My three-year-old son Logan is convinced that the baby is a boy.  I guess he’s decided that two big sisters are all the sisters any guy needs.  Every time he talks about the baby he says, “my little brother” or “him.”  I always remind him that the baby could be a girl, too.  One day, after we had that discussion several times, he sighed and said, “Mommy.  I just want to think about the baby is a boy, and I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”  It was so hard not to laugh.  I nodded and gave him a hug, deciding to give him a break from reality for a while. It was an ordinary afternoon.  We were sitting on the couch together because I was too tired and sick to do anything else, and yet we made one of my favorite memories of him so far.

 

I've been thinking a lot about the small moments of motherhood lately.  A few weeks ago, my friend Suzanne came and took some pictures of my kids and me at home.  We were just doing the things that we do every morning, having breakfast, getting ready for school. I didn’t even change out of my yoga pants.  The pictures are perfect.

I love the reminder to pay attention.  That the days of motherhood, which can seem monotonous at times, are made up of a million little opportunities to stop and notice.  To breathe in my kids and who they are, right now.  To breathe out gratitude.

Sometimes, when I get off my computer or stop worrying about the next thing on my to do list, when I remember to pay attention, I can drink it all in and just be still.

The anticipation of my first sip of coffee in the morning.

Photo by Suzanne Tadros Photography.

A tea party with my daughter.

Photo by Suzanne Tadros Photography.

A photo shoot with my son.

Photo by Suzanne Tadros Photography.

Then life speeds up again.  I get back on my computer, or I have to rush the kids out the door to go to school.  But I notice that the more I stop to pay attention, the less chaotic it all seems.

Here’s to finding joy in the little things.  To remembering to stop and pay attention.  To being in the moment--not all the time, but more.  Happy Sunday, friends.

Weekend Away: Momcon 2015

I just got back from the annual MOPS International leadership conference. This year it was in Indianapolis and I was able to travel with several other women from my MOPS group.  I had an amazing time.  Matt Maher performed and the main-stage speakers included Amena Brown, Jen Hatmaker, and Bob Goff, among others.  If you ever have the chance to go and hear Amena Brown perform her spoken word poetry, you should absolutely do it.  She was phenomenal.  The weekend was full of good conversations with new friends and great advice on parenting and how to be a more intentional wife. I have pages and pages of notes to go through and digest over the next few weeks and a stack of books to read.

If you're looking for books on parenting, I highly recommend Wild Things: The Art of Nurturing Boys by David S. Thomas and Stephen James, as well as All You Need to Know About Raising Girls by Melissa Travathan and Sissy Goff.  I had the opportunity to hear both David Thomas and Sissy Goff speak this weekend.  David was absolutely hilarious and they were both insightful and engaging speakers.  In those two short sessions, I learned things about my son and daughters that have already changed some of the way I parent now and will be especially helpful as they get older.  I couldn't get in line to buy their books fast enough, and I plan to spend time on their website, raisingboysandgirls.com, taking advantage of the tons of resources and information about parenting.

When asked what my favorite part of the weekend was, I found it hard to say. The whole weekend was my favorite, really.  I missed Anton and the kids like crazy, but I'm glad I had the opportunity to go and be filled up and connect with other women.  It made me so thankful for A. and his willingness to cover things at home so I could go, and thankful that my sister could help with my kids and watch Molly and Hazel for me.

As I thought about what I wanted to say to you guys about the conference, I kept going back to Bob Goff.  Last year, my husband read the book, Love Does, at the suggestion of his aunt and then recommended it to me.  Even though everything he told me about it sounded wonderful, I didn't get around to reading it.  I will now.

Bob Goff was a great speaker.  He took us off guard with his almost childlike enthusiasm and excitement.  We weren't allowed to stay one more minute in our comfort zone.  His message was so simple, and scary hard at the same time.  Jesus didn't call us to play it safe.  We're defined by the way that we love people.  Love everybody--always.  Live in grace, walk in love.

Bob Goff speaking on Friday at Momcon.

He talked about how as Christians, we are under the banner of Christ.  That either changes nothing in our lives or it changes absolutely everything.  I thought of my parents, and the extravagant way that they love. Especially the way they love those who have been unloved or unwanted before.  I was inspired to be more like Bob, and more like my parents, but to do it in whatever way looks like me.  He said, "Go be you.  And go love everybody."

I'm looking forward to seeing what that looks like in my life, and I'm going to start by picking up a copy of his book.  Love Does.

Through Her Eyes

When I sat down to write a post for Father's Day, I began to think of all the things I wanted to say about my husband and the wonderful father he is to our children.  I realized that I couldn't think of a better way to describe him than my daughter did in a poem she wrote this Christmas.  
She was seven.

Avery's class was working on a poetry unit, and they were given the assignment to write an “I Am” poem from the perspective of someone they loved.  She chose her dad.  She was given the first two words in each line, and she came up with the rest. 

Dad

I am a dad who is funny, kind and works hard.
I wonder how old I will live to be.
I hear horses neighing.
I see my children growing quickly.
I want my children to do the right thing.
I am a dad who is funny, kind, and works hard.

I pretend I am in my own Neverland.
I feel happy when we are all together.
I touch the horses dirty hoof.
I worry about not making enough money for my family.
I cried when Grandad died.
I am a dad who is funny, kind and works hard.

I understand when my children are upset.
I say I miss Grandad.
I dream about being in my own Neverland.
I try to be kind.
I hope I make enough money.
I am a dad who is funny, kind and works hard.

Every time I read that poem I cry.  She gets it.  She gets him. 

I’m so thankful to be married to a man who is “funny, kind, and works hard.” A man that I can trust with my life, and the lives of my children. 

A pastor once said, “Respect means showing your husband that you trust that he has the best intentions for your family.”  Avery looks at her daddy, and she sees that he does.  She knows it.  Her respect for him is unconditional.

I can be difficult.  Unforgiving.  Unkind.  Committed to defending my idea of how the plastic bowls are supposed to be organized in the dishwasher.  This Father’s Day, I am inspired to see the big picture, my husband as he really is.  A man who dies to self every day as he gets up to go to work to take care of us.  Who smiles at the end of a long day and takes the kids out to ride their bikes.  A man who might forget the way I like things organized in the kitchen, but who doesn't forget to tell me or the kids how much he loves us. 

It has been said that through the eyes of a child you will see the world as it should be.  Sometimes, through the eyes of a child, you see the world as it is.